Summer Ritual < AoSL Feature Ritual

AOSL Feature Ritual:
Tips for Getting Through the Day

When I’m feeling panicked, frantic, desperate, scared but I still have to keep going, first I sit down at my altar and breathe, focus on my breath -in and out - until there’s some quiet space inside. Sometimes I only have5 minutes and that’s okay. If I have work to do at home I put on spiritually influenced music (Hildegard von Bingen, Singh Kaur), filling my space with words of God, gratitude, reminders that I’ve always been taken care of. If I have to drive; I put music on the tape deck, and breathe.

I change my altar periodically to reflect my current situation, issues I am currently dealing with. I spend time thinking about the objects, their placement. I have little “altars” in various parts of my home – the windowsill beside my desk is filled with beautiful and meaningful objects for inspiration. The mantelpiece is a “house” altar - not personal to me but special - and I change the objects on it to reflect family needs.

At work: I say a prayer before starting work, giving thanks for the work
I’ve been given, and asking for guidance and support in my work, dedicating it to higher consciousness and for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Sometimes I need comfort, sustenance and there’s no one around to lean on. Then I go to Mother Earth - in spring, summer, fall I may stretch myself out on the ground, let my heart beat against the earth, open my arms to receive her solidness, her groundedness, her nurturing. In the winter, I may lean into a tree, sit on a rock, put my face in the branches of an evergreen.

I used to have music on in the background all the time. Now I have long periods of silence. Silence helps me focus on what I’m doing, pay more attention to the task at hand, my movements, my feelings.

In my office, I’ve carefully chosen objects, images that I want to have in my work space. I have something representing each of the four elements (a rock, a feather, a shell, a candle). I have something representing the feminine (a bowl, a salt cellar) and the masculine (a large phallic-looking rock). I have the delicate shell of a wild cucumber on my altar, and a beautiful live green plant representing the plant kingdom - both alive and dead. I have a stone sculpture of sun/moon and a small earth ball that represent the cosmos.

I have an outdoor sacred space. My altar is the place I go to in my house. Sometimes the issues I’m dealing with are out in the world, so it feels right to have a sacred space out in the world where I can go to reflect, pray, meditate. And sometimes I know I need to be in nature to say my prayer, receive comfort. My sacred space has a beautiful willow bench made by a friend’s daughter. There are 4 large footprints leading in to the bench, and 4 large footprints leading out of the sacred space. These footprints remind me of the Buddha’s footprints, and they remind me of my path. In front of my bench I have four flat stones, laid in a path, representing the four elements. At the end of this path is a moon-shaped “altar” made of 13 stones representing the 13 moons in a year. When I’m sitting at my altar, to my right (the masculine side) I have wind chimes - long beautiful pieces of wood that create a gentle sound. To my left (the feminine), I have a beautiful Tibetan Goddess. And on a branch overhanging the altar, hang small symbolic Tibetan Prayer Flags. When I enter my sacred space, I give the chimes a gentle tap. When I leave my sacred space, I touch my forehead to the forehead of the Goddess.

I pay attention to synchronicities, to my dreams; I try to read my life. I look for the meaning in events, circumstances. I assume that nothing is accidental and that I have chosen all that is in my life and must take responsibility for it all. I wonder why I chose the difficulties, the obstacles. What meaning do they hold for me? What lessons do I need to learn? What opportunities are there for me within the difficulty?

Stories. Phrases. There are stories and phrases that I carry with me and pull out in times of need. Rumi’s “Cow story”. “The feeling is real, but it’s not the reality.” Stories of my own past, my own experience, reminding me of the REALITY of my life, not my fears about my life.

Sometimes I feel I’m covered with negative goop from an argument, stressful work, fearful circumstances. I put some salt in my bathwater (for purification) and after I’ve soaked a bit, I’ll add some essential oil. When I’m ready to get out, I visualize the negativity going down the drain. If I don’t have time for a bath, I do the same visualization when taking a shower.

When I have a meeting, public event, encounter that I’m nervous about, I dress and adorn myself carefully. I choose a colour with the vibration I want to carry (perhaps blue [peaceful] or green [healing] for an encounter that has the potential for conflict; maybe red [fire, energy, passion] when I want to communicate dynamism, confidence). I try to choose jewellery that has some meaning to me (I wear the earrings my mother gave me before she died when I feel I might need protection or special good luck - I know she’s on my side! A friend wears a necklace with the Eye of Isis for protection). And I may choose a special stone to carry in my pocket for extra grounding.

At a time in my life when I was feeling particularly hard-done-by, I did an exercise, which required spending 5 minutes, a day being grateful (and sometimes that had to start with being grateful I could feel so angry, grateful I can stomp my feet, and whine, and complain... but it always shifted by the end of 5 minutes).

When we moved into a new house, the first night we did a small ritual as a family. We gathered in the living room, offered some blessings for this new house and what it meant to us as a family, then took a sage smudge and went through all the rooms to clear the air. A wonderful house-warming gift (Laura and Leonard) was a house-blessing kit: salt (earth), incense (air), candle (fire), rosewater (water), that we blessed our house with.

I also smudge a room when the air needs clearing: after an argument, when there’s been negativity, depression, sorrow that needs to be cleared out so fresh energy can come in.

I spend some time every week volunteering time to groups/events that are community building and life supporting (dedicated to healing our planet in some way - environment, human rights, poverty, social justice issues). Through volunteer work at a local level, I connect to issues on a global level. The world becomes my community.

On a more personal level, inviting friends in my community to share in rituals of transition helps to create stronger bonds between us. We share meaningful moments/events.

“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.” I’ve learned how to play, not be so serious all the time - an unexpected dance, moments of silliness, breaking the rules, creating opportunities for healing laughter. When I allow myself to be silly, draw outside the lines, make a mess, I create space for something new - new idea, new way of looking at things, breath of fresh air.

And when I feel like I’m stuck, stale, stagnant, I literally let in fresh air - open a window even in February, go outside and breathe in deeply even in a rainstorm, sit in my outdoor space even when mosquitoes join me. I also make an effort to move more - walk, stretch, jump up and down, and shake my body. Stuck, stale, stagnant needs unexpected, loose, out of the ordinary. That can include wearing fun clothes, presenting dinner in an unusual display (making faces on the plates) or in strange tableware, wearing hair in pigtails on top of head, etc.

Another strategy when I’m feeling stuck is to remember that change happens with tiny steps. Sometimes one small manageable step is all I need to start things moving.

A client of mine who’d never had any interest in artistic endeavours discovered clay as a means of expression. Now when she’s trying to work through something, she will often go to her clay and see what comes out. Her creations are beautiful, disturbing, illuminating, and highly creative. She learns much about herself and her process working with clay.

Sometimes when I’m feeling scattered, off-centre, I go for a walk paying special attention to the movements of my body, to my feet on the ground, to my breath as I walk. I strive to keep my focus on my body and the ground, and when my mind wanders, I bring it back to my body and the ground.

My morning tea is a sort of ritual for me. I don’t do anything special, but that time is special. When I can sit down and have my cup of tea, I feel a sense of calmness, readiness for the day. When I don’t have time for a relaxed cup of tea, I feel a little behind and the day has barely started. Tips on Getting Through the Day

It is an illusion that there’s not enough time, and we all buy into that illusion. Periodically, I have been able to step into a reality where there is infinite time. In this reality, I do what I need to do without a sense of panic, no high-stress racing around; I assume that I may or may not get everything done, but whatever gets done will be enough and I am going to be relaxed, in-the-moment, and enjoy what I am doing. With this attitude, time expands. I always get far more done that I expected to, and in a shorter amount of time. High-stress rushing invites mistakes, forgetfulness, and confusion.

Another thing I do that makes time expand is allow small moments to count.
I used to think if I didn’t have a whole day, or a large chunk of the day, just for myself, then I didn’t have ANY time. Now, an hour spent enjoyably weeding the garden counts as time for myself, it’s a mini-vacation. I take in the sunshine, the birds singing, the feel of the earth and I thoroughly enjoy it. I allow myself to be refreshed by this time. Previously, I might have spent the hour feeling stressed because there’s not enough time to weed the whole thing, and all I do is work, and I need some time off, etc.

I ask questions. I wonder. I look at my situation from the perspective of both character and author. I imagine life events as a dream and look for meaning.

I write in my journal: I have dialogues with myself about decisions or conflicting feelings, I write down whatever comes into my head without concern for grammar, or being reasonable or logical. I learn things about my beliefs, my thoughts that surprise me. Mostly, it’s a release and a relief to express my feelings, to get them “out there” where I can see and hear them in a different way, where they don’t clog up my insides.

When overwhelmed or stressed, I have friends I can call on who will listen to my complaints, offer support, speak honestly, help me regain balance, get perspective.

Christine Freeman
cfreeman@nexicom.net